.....Antidepressants

This is one of the main reasons I didn't want to admit to my PPD. I didn't want pills shoved down my throat. Certainly if they give me a pill, I'll become dependant. Addicted. I'll become somebody I'm not. I don't even like taking ibuprofen for a headache, so I'm certainly not in the market for a "mood-changer." I wanted to solve this problem on my own. I thought if I could just work through my emotions on my own and if I could have all my friends and family praying for me, that would be all I would need.
But I also didn't want to continue to push my family further and further away. This was starting to wear on my relationship with my kids and, most importantly, my husband.
So the doctor and my Mother convinced me that I needed these pills to help me through this stage of life and I was promised I would not become addicted. My hormones will level out over time and eventually I won't need the pills. So I caved. I swallowed my pride -- and the pills :)
And you know what the crazy thing was?? They worked! Within a week, I was learning how to smile again. I was enjoying the Christmas decorations. I was able to look at my children and the goofy things they were doing and just laugh!!
I was so sure that these pills were going to make me fake. Turn me into somebody I was not. But they didn't. After two months of living in a haze, I was finally starting to feel like.... Me. And I had never been more happy to be me in my whole life.
Of course, initially I didn't want to give the credit to the pills. I told myself I was probably getting to this point on my own and it was just a coincidence that I started taking the pills at the same time. I was so tempted to pitch the pills. I was sure I didn't need them!! But I promised my doctor and Nate that I would take them until spring, so I decided to honor that commitment.