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Monday, October 4, 2010

Waiting and Anticipating

After Eden was born, I experienced a bit of the Baby Blues. Up to that point, those were the scariest emotions I had ever felt in my life. I felt such an intense love for this little baby, but there were times I just couldn't handle the fact that she depended on me for everything. It sounds ridiculous to say now... obviously a baby depends on her parents to provide all things for her, but it was such an overwhelming feeling. There were times when I literally wanted to drop her on the ground, walk out of the room and never return. Thankfully there was always a tiny glimmer in my heart reminding me that this little baby was a precious gift from God and I could never live with myself if I ever allowed any harm to come to her -- especially harm from my very own hands!!
These feelings lasted about 6 months and just gradually faded away on their own as we got used to each other, got into a schedule and got some much needed rest!!! :)
I knew since I experienced these feelings once, it was likely they would come back again with the second baby. But I also held out hope that since I was an "experienced" mother, I would cope much better and those "chemical imbalances" wouldn't get the best of me this time around.
These fears weighed heavily on my mind at the beginning of my pregnancy, but as we got closer to the end and to Miss Jada's arrival, the fears had nearly been forgotten.....
Then along comes Jada..... :)

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