It has been six months since I started taking my anti-depressants for the second time. I am grateful for the science behind the pills. I am glad there is something that I can take that allows me to feel like me. I wish I could feel like me without any assistance, but for now this will have to do. It is my goal to be pill-free again someday, but I know that is not in my near future. I have had a lot of ups and downs since I started taking these pills again in July, but I feel like I'm being a little more proactive in my healing this time around. I'm not just lazily letting the pills do all the work. Instead, I am allowing them to "balance my chemicals" while I work on the nitty-gritty emotions that are lying deep within me.
My doctor has warned me that this could be a life-long thing. This definitely started as postpartum depression, but there is a history of depression in my family. So postpartum may have just been the tipping point to bring me somewhere I probably would have reached eventually in my life anyway.
Call me stubborn, but I am out to prove him wrong!! :)
I am going to keep this blog open. I don't know how often I will add to it, but I want to keep it available as an outlet. There are times when I have feelings I need to share, but there is not always a good person to share with or good place to discard them. I feel like this might serve as that place. So... you may see weekly updates here or you may never see anything ever again. I just don't know.
But I welcome your comments and feedback. Every time I share a little bit of my story, I feel a little better. I just don't always know if it is appropriate to share or if people care to hear about it. So if you share with me, then I will know it is OK to share with you! :)
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